Several times during this adoption process Jeremy and I have been contacted by third parties, telling us of mothers thinking about putting their child up for adoption. Each time we offered to sit down and talk with the mothers, but it never happened. I, being the overly emotional self that I am, would ride that roller coaster of emotions- Very excited, hopeful, scared, then ultimately disappointed. This is all experienced usually within a day or two. Then the ultimate came. Our adoption agency contacted us about a possible baby. I rode that roller coaster around and around for a very intense 3 hours. I have never experienced anything like that and don't want to ever again.
So you can see my scarred little heart is a bit more cautious now. This week we were approached by an acquaintance whose girlfriend is pregnant and they are considering adoption due to financial reasons. This is the first time a birth parent has contacted us directly. I didn't even react with excitement. My heart is scared to hope. I considered not sharing with my family and close friends, b/c I didn't want to have to react to their excitement and hope. Jeremy has spoken with this acquaintance several times over the past few days, and gave him my cell phone number to give to his girlfriend. I pray she calls. I don't hope, my heart can't take that, but I pray.
Being the planner that I am, I'm already researching interstate private adoptions and possible attorneys. I can handle the details of this, just not the emotions. I have to remind myself that God has a plan, and His timing is best.
As expected, nothing panned out. I'm glad that I was better prepared for it this time, and I'm still praying for both expectant parents.