Saturday, February 5

The things people say

Jeremy and I have been busy preparing for our home study. We met with the social worker this week at Panera and we both felt like it went great! She was really reassuring and positive in everything she said. She seemed to think that since we are willing to have an open and trans-racial adoption, it could possibly be a short wait time. I really needed to hear this. Lately, I have been reading various adoption blogs and it seems like these wonderful waiting families just experience one disappointment after another. 
So, this meeting helped me get excited once again about our future little one. We put the crib together and have plans to pick up a borrowed mattress tomorrow. I've had fun conversations with both my mom and my mother in law about all the necessary items they'll need for when we visit. I spent hours online browsing for the best bottles, formula, and diapers to use. Tonight after dinner, I stopped in Toys R Us to check out their baby aisle, and bought some baby socks. I tried to get Jeremy interested and excited like I was, but he seems to be thinking like everyone else I talk to. Its very unfair to me, that a pregnant mother has 10 months to plan for and get excited about her child and I don't have a start date or an end date. I just have God's timing. Nothing hurt me worse than when I asked one of my friends, who had came  over for dinner, if he wanted to see the crib Jeremy and I had put together and he said, "You have a crib?! Already? Aren't you getting ahead of yourself?" How can people think like this? Jeremy and I have been trying to add a child to our family for years. What is wrong with me getting excited about and planning for this child, even if it is through adoption? It really hurts. 

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